8-inch chocolate penis that oozes fondant cream… Fresh mint fondant, Valencia orange fondant, Williams Pear liqueur fondant, Mozart chocolate liqueur fondant, Cointreau liqueur fondant and Irish coffee liqueur fondant.
Okay but is it possible to get the filling colored red? Because obviously the best use for these is to make a gif or video where you’re licking and sucking at one seductively, making bedroom eyes at the camera, and then you BITE THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN HALF AND SHRIEK YOUR VICTORY AS THE DELICIOUS BLOOD-FILLING DRIPS FROM YOUR VICIOUS MAW.
This site scares me so much.
Reblogging because that damn comment
homestuck pick up lines
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD tier!
That awkward moment when your teacher says “find a partner”…
And you have no friends in that class so you’re like…
And then you’re like “can I work alone”?
And the teacher says yes. So you pretend you’re too cool to work in partners and you look like…
But inside you’re like…
Jack meets fellow members of The Big Four (aka Jack being a little shit)
ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^
#huge dicks are like communism
can someone please put that on a shirt
*Whispers* It’s not only boy’s raping girls. Just saying. But this ^ Is a fantastic post.
Can I still be considered a part of the Star Trek fandom even though I’ve only seen the new movies?
I’m guessing not, but I’d still really love to be one of you guys. (Especially considering I was 9 when the last movie (before the 2009 one) came out. So hopefully I can be forgiven for that.)
the star trek fandom might be the nicest so far wow
good job star trek fandom you keep truckin on
- management: nobody under 12 will be allowed in the 2014 stadium tour
- everyone over 12: looks like this could be *sprays perfume* our moment
